Snowflake's Meme

Rules: - Pick your birth month.-
Bold the 5-10 that best apply to you.-
Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months.-
Tag 12 people from your friends list.
Click here to get the list of all twelve months.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

Brilliant may be stretching it a bit, but I am very smart!

Iran...What the %$#@?

So here is my daily rant - I hopped online yesterday to read my email and the news on CNN, like always. Usually the news just makes me plain old sad - to see all the crap that's going on in the world...But today it pissed me off - completely pissed me off! I was reading this article about how some Iranian ships had a confrontation with the US Navy in the Gulf. Iran denies any such thing, but apparently three Iranian vessels approached a Navy ship, one of which got close enough they had to fire a warning shot. The US Navy says it was no big deal, but, like I said, Iran says it didn't happen. In fact, here is the quote that appeared in the IRNA (the official Iranian news agency).

IRNA said the U.S. media "tries to portray the Persian Gulf as a turbulent area in order to prepare the grounds for the permanent presence of U.S. forces in the region."

Excuse me?! I believe they are the country currently continuing their nuclear energy program (purely for energy reasons, of course - note the sarcasm...) which the UN has repeatedly told them to stop. They have given us every reason (and don't get me started on their role in the War on Terrorism in the Middle East), by refusing to heed to UN's warnings, to feel our presence in the Gulf in entirely necessary. Honestly, do you want Iran to have Nuclear weapons?

Do they just think that things are going so damn well in Iraq and Afghanistan that we're looking to go to war with them too? Like we've got nothing better to do as a country with our resources to to maintain peace and fight for freedom throughout the entire world!

Honestly, there are some days when I feel we are on the brink of World War III with the Middle East! I just don't understand how religious differences have gotten so entirely out of hand. Does anyone honestly believe (except for the extremist Muslims like Al-Qaeda) that this is actually what God wants?

You Left Me

After the divorce
I left you
or you left me,
pushed me away
I thought time
would lessen my grief
help me to forgive you
forget you

but we are bound by
a much higher purpose
ordained by God
chosen purposely
nurtured

I sought answers
again and again
your approval
again and again

but you left me
alone with my
shattered illusions
and my cynicism

slowly I withered
like an apple
fallen to the ground
firm flesh
muddled and distorted
misshapen
till it was
unrecognizable
rotten and bitter

you left me
with my hurt
and my hatred

you left me

Your Kiss

You woke me
with your kiss
softly
tentatively
seeking and asking
asking became needing
aching
longing
then demanding

your heart exposed
in that kiss
your passion
raw
searching for approval
affirmation

it haunts me still
a memory cloaked
in sweetness
dripping like honey

My True Self?

Sometimes as an adult, I feel like I've lost myself - grown into some person I don't even recognize. I am no longer free-spirited or impulsive, daring to be...well, anything. Now I'm just so rigid. I try to tell myself it's just practical - responsible, but I'm really afraid, to be me, to fail.

Sometimes I just close my eyes and remember those times as a little girl when I would dance, spinning in circles until I got dizzy, that feeling of peace in my heart - like for one moment nothing mattered but the wind on my face and the feeling of floating.

Maybe the truth is that I've always really been like this. Somewhere I grew up - too early in so many ways. I lost my faith in everything good - so young when everyone let me down and turned out to be not worthy of my trust. And so I became strong and independent, trusting in only myself.

Then I wanted so desperately not to be uptight that I just made a huge effort to be bold.

So which is it really? That I lost my free-spiritedness when I became better acquainted with the world? Or did I finally settle into my true self?

The Mirror

I looked in the mirror this morning
I saw you staring back at me
with your cold
disapproving gaze
penetrating my heart
knowing what truth lies there

you do not understand
have never understood

I hate you for it
for a life of never feeling good enough
of letting myself down
because I held myself to your standard
unknown and relentless

so I turned away rather than
admit defeat

Our Walk

You kissed me
that night
on the side
of the road
anyone could see
we fell in step
with our hands
and hearts
entwined

all these years
later
we are still
walking