Rules: - Pick your birth month.-
Bold the 5-10 that best apply to you.-
Copy to your own journal, with all twelve months.-
Tag 12 people from your friends list.
Click here to get the list of all twelve months.
NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Brilliant may be stretching it a bit, but I am very smart!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Iran...What the %$#@?
So here is my daily rant - I hopped online yesterday to read my email and the news on CNN, like always. Usually the news just makes me plain old sad - to see all the crap that's going on in the world...But today it pissed me off - completely pissed me off! I was reading this article about how some Iranian ships had a confrontation with the US Navy in the Gulf. Iran denies any such thing, but apparently three Iranian vessels approached a Navy ship, one of which got close enough they had to fire a warning shot. The US Navy says it was no big deal, but, like I said, Iran says it didn't happen. In fact, here is the quote that appeared in the IRNA (the official Iranian news agency).
IRNA said the U.S. media "tries to portray the Persian Gulf as a turbulent area in order to prepare the grounds for the permanent presence of U.S. forces in the region."
Excuse me?! I believe they are the country currently continuing their nuclear energy program (purely for energy reasons, of course - note the sarcasm...) which the UN has repeatedly told them to stop. They have given us every reason (and don't get me started on their role in the War on Terrorism in the Middle East), by refusing to heed to UN's warnings, to feel our presence in the Gulf in entirely necessary. Honestly, do you want Iran to have Nuclear weapons?
Do they just think that things are going so damn well in Iraq and Afghanistan that we're looking to go to war with them too? Like we've got nothing better to do as a country with our resources to to maintain peace and fight for freedom throughout the entire world!
Honestly, there are some days when I feel we are on the brink of World War III with the Middle East! I just don't understand how religious differences have gotten so entirely out of hand. Does anyone honestly believe (except for the extremist Muslims like Al-Qaeda) that this is actually what God wants?
IRNA said the U.S. media "tries to portray the Persian Gulf as a turbulent area in order to prepare the grounds for the permanent presence of U.S. forces in the region."
Excuse me?! I believe they are the country currently continuing their nuclear energy program (purely for energy reasons, of course - note the sarcasm...) which the UN has repeatedly told them to stop. They have given us every reason (and don't get me started on their role in the War on Terrorism in the Middle East), by refusing to heed to UN's warnings, to feel our presence in the Gulf in entirely necessary. Honestly, do you want Iran to have Nuclear weapons?
Do they just think that things are going so damn well in Iraq and Afghanistan that we're looking to go to war with them too? Like we've got nothing better to do as a country with our resources to to maintain peace and fight for freedom throughout the entire world!
Honestly, there are some days when I feel we are on the brink of World War III with the Middle East! I just don't understand how religious differences have gotten so entirely out of hand. Does anyone honestly believe (except for the extremist Muslims like Al-Qaeda) that this is actually what God wants?
You Left Me
After the divorce
I left you
or you left me,
pushed me away
I thought time
would lessen my grief
help me to forgive you
forget you
but we are bound by
a much higher purpose
ordained by God
chosen purposely
nurtured
I sought answers
again and again
your approval
again and again
but you left me
alone with my
shattered illusions
and my cynicism
slowly I withered
like an apple
fallen to the ground
firm flesh
muddled and distorted
misshapen
till it was
unrecognizable
rotten and bitter
you left me
with my hurt
and my hatred
you left me
I left you
or you left me,
pushed me away
I thought time
would lessen my grief
help me to forgive you
forget you
but we are bound by
a much higher purpose
ordained by God
chosen purposely
nurtured
I sought answers
again and again
your approval
again and again
but you left me
alone with my
shattered illusions
and my cynicism
slowly I withered
like an apple
fallen to the ground
firm flesh
muddled and distorted
misshapen
till it was
unrecognizable
rotten and bitter
you left me
with my hurt
and my hatred
you left me
Friday, April 11, 2008
Your Kiss
You woke me
with your kiss
softly
tentatively
seeking and asking
asking became needing
aching
longing
then demanding
your heart exposed
in that kiss
your passion
raw
searching for approval
affirmation
it haunts me still
a memory cloaked
in sweetness
dripping like honey
with your kiss
softly
tentatively
seeking and asking
asking became needing
aching
longing
then demanding
your heart exposed
in that kiss
your passion
raw
searching for approval
affirmation
it haunts me still
a memory cloaked
in sweetness
dripping like honey
My True Self?
Sometimes as an adult, I feel like I've lost myself - grown into some person I don't even recognize. I am no longer free-spirited or impulsive, daring to be...well, anything. Now I'm just so rigid. I try to tell myself it's just practical - responsible, but I'm really afraid, to be me, to fail.
Sometimes I just close my eyes and remember those times as a little girl when I would dance, spinning in circles until I got dizzy, that feeling of peace in my heart - like for one moment nothing mattered but the wind on my face and the feeling of floating.
Maybe the truth is that I've always really been like this. Somewhere I grew up - too early in so many ways. I lost my faith in everything good - so young when everyone let me down and turned out to be not worthy of my trust. And so I became strong and independent, trusting in only myself.
Then I wanted so desperately not to be uptight that I just made a huge effort to be bold.
So which is it really? That I lost my free-spiritedness when I became better acquainted with the world? Or did I finally settle into my true self?
Sometimes I just close my eyes and remember those times as a little girl when I would dance, spinning in circles until I got dizzy, that feeling of peace in my heart - like for one moment nothing mattered but the wind on my face and the feeling of floating.
Maybe the truth is that I've always really been like this. Somewhere I grew up - too early in so many ways. I lost my faith in everything good - so young when everyone let me down and turned out to be not worthy of my trust. And so I became strong and independent, trusting in only myself.
Then I wanted so desperately not to be uptight that I just made a huge effort to be bold.
So which is it really? That I lost my free-spiritedness when I became better acquainted with the world? Or did I finally settle into my true self?
The Mirror
I looked in the mirror this morning
I saw you staring back at me
with your cold
disapproving gaze
penetrating my heart
knowing what truth lies there
you do not understand
have never understood
I hate you for it
for a life of never feeling good enough
of letting myself down
because I held myself to your standard
unknown and relentless
so I turned away rather than
admit defeat
I saw you staring back at me
with your cold
disapproving gaze
penetrating my heart
knowing what truth lies there
you do not understand
have never understood
I hate you for it
for a life of never feeling good enough
of letting myself down
because I held myself to your standard
unknown and relentless
so I turned away rather than
admit defeat
Our Walk
You kissed me
that night
on the side
of the road
anyone could see
we fell in step
with our hands
and hearts
entwined
all these years
later
we are still
walking
that night
on the side
of the road
anyone could see
we fell in step
with our hands
and hearts
entwined
all these years
later
we are still
walking
Do You See Me?
We made love tonight
on a bed of comfort
lost in each other
and in our selves
and I wonder
do you see me?
do you know...
I have lost myself
somewhere along the way
of me becoming you
and you into I
and us
into each other
what has become of me?
do you see?
on a bed of comfort
lost in each other
and in our selves
and I wonder
do you see me?
do you know...
I have lost myself
somewhere along the way
of me becoming you
and you into I
and us
into each other
what has become of me?
do you see?
Frosted Flakes
(Stay with me here...I have been writing in my journal but not posting for some time - I wasn't really this industrious today.)
I had a bowl of Frosted Flakes this morning, which in and of itself is nothing particularly extraordinary. In fact, truth be told, my adult self doesn't really even like them very much. But they remind me so much of my childhood, which is beginning to seem to very long ago and far away.
I used to spend a great deal of time with my grandparents over the summer in Cape Cod. Every morning for breakfast my grandfather would eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes, an English muffin, a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee (that I remember anyway). I really don't know if he ever ate anything else.
I know that over the years it too became my ritual, only switch the cup of coffee for milk. I was never allowed cereal like Frosted Flakes at home, so it was a very special treat - just like visiting my grandparents'.
And oh how I loved and adored my grandpa! He was hands down my idol and my knight in shining armor.
He taught me how to play 500 Rummy, which I know is nothing particularly special, but we would play for hours. He taught me strategy, and how to lose gracefully (I never could beat him). But it was during those simple games of rummy that we really bonded. He told me stories about my mom and uncle, about life during the Great Depression, and the wars he had lived through, what was in the news, and even how to play golf.
If we weren't playing rummy, we were most likely to be found at the beach. We would leave in the morning after our highly nutritious bowls of the afore mentioned Frosted Flakes, break shortly for lunch, and return every afternoon.
He never minded the long hours at the beach - because he would set his blanket down next to the most beautiful bikini clad college girls. They all just adored him, after all, he was charming.
But he would always come in the water with me, encouraging me to be a fearless swimmer. And then we'd walk the beach - I'd collect shells and he'd talk to the fisherman. We'd watch the endless parade of boats.
By late afternoon we always returned covered in sand. But after dinner were the hours I loved best, just listening to all the grown-ups play "Oh, Hell." Even listening to their voices quietly carry from the living room to the family room where I slept on the pull out sofa, hearing the clock my Uncle Ron had given them for their anniversary chime.
I guess what I cherish most about my time on the Cape, other than the incredible relationships I had with my grandparents, is the fact that the Cape was the only place my parents were really together and getting along. I could always find a peace there that eluded me the rest of my childhood.
And so this morning, my simple bowl of Frosted Flakes took me on a glorious trip down memory lane, with my grandpa so close I could almost see his sparkling blue eyes.
I look forward to another bowl tomorrow!
I had a bowl of Frosted Flakes this morning, which in and of itself is nothing particularly extraordinary. In fact, truth be told, my adult self doesn't really even like them very much. But they remind me so much of my childhood, which is beginning to seem to very long ago and far away.
I used to spend a great deal of time with my grandparents over the summer in Cape Cod. Every morning for breakfast my grandfather would eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes, an English muffin, a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee (that I remember anyway). I really don't know if he ever ate anything else.
I know that over the years it too became my ritual, only switch the cup of coffee for milk. I was never allowed cereal like Frosted Flakes at home, so it was a very special treat - just like visiting my grandparents'.
And oh how I loved and adored my grandpa! He was hands down my idol and my knight in shining armor.
He taught me how to play 500 Rummy, which I know is nothing particularly special, but we would play for hours. He taught me strategy, and how to lose gracefully (I never could beat him). But it was during those simple games of rummy that we really bonded. He told me stories about my mom and uncle, about life during the Great Depression, and the wars he had lived through, what was in the news, and even how to play golf.
If we weren't playing rummy, we were most likely to be found at the beach. We would leave in the morning after our highly nutritious bowls of the afore mentioned Frosted Flakes, break shortly for lunch, and return every afternoon.
He never minded the long hours at the beach - because he would set his blanket down next to the most beautiful bikini clad college girls. They all just adored him, after all, he was charming.
But he would always come in the water with me, encouraging me to be a fearless swimmer. And then we'd walk the beach - I'd collect shells and he'd talk to the fisherman. We'd watch the endless parade of boats.
By late afternoon we always returned covered in sand. But after dinner were the hours I loved best, just listening to all the grown-ups play "Oh, Hell." Even listening to their voices quietly carry from the living room to the family room where I slept on the pull out sofa, hearing the clock my Uncle Ron had given them for their anniversary chime.
I guess what I cherish most about my time on the Cape, other than the incredible relationships I had with my grandparents, is the fact that the Cape was the only place my parents were really together and getting along. I could always find a peace there that eluded me the rest of my childhood.
And so this morning, my simple bowl of Frosted Flakes took me on a glorious trip down memory lane, with my grandpa so close I could almost see his sparkling blue eyes.
I look forward to another bowl tomorrow!
The Fire
You raged like a
fire inside me
and I was consumed
by it
In the end all that
remained
was rubble and soot
the broken bits of me
a pile of ash
for all my love
in time it blew away
and now
nothing remains of you
fire inside me
and I was consumed
by it
In the end all that
remained
was rubble and soot
the broken bits of me
a pile of ash
for all my love
in time it blew away
and now
nothing remains of you
Elie Wiesel
I must preface what follows, by first saying that I thought Night was one of the most astounding and incredibly humanizing books EVER written. I never realized (the me living in some alternate universe I guess) that Elie Wiesel has actually written tons of other books (I mean like 80 something...). So, since I loved Night so much, I decided to read The Judges. It was a bit dark, entirely surprising to be honest. I was thinking about it today, after reading yet another article about President George Bush and our proposed withdrawal of troops from Iraq this summer (stay with me here).
When I read the book, I wrote down a quote which I wasn't entirely sure I agreed with at the time, but struck me none the less for its audacity.
"Since we have to use evil to destroy evil, it's better to do it with fervor and determination. And because the evil that confronts us is infinite we must hunt it down beyond national frontiers, wherever we find it. And we must do this here and now."
So, now I must digress for a minute...When I first read this I was appalled that it was actually written by a man who had received the Nobel Peace Prize. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that it could only be someone who had suffered through and survived something like the Holocaust who could ever truly give an opinion on something like this. The reality of my life is that no matter how many novels like Night I may read about the Holocaust, I can NEVER in a thousand years understand what it truly must have been like. As often as I read the news, can I ever truly understand Evil? Evil the likes of which have never touched my life?
Little by little, I came to realize that what he was saying was not all together different from what he said in his Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech which I lauded with the highest praise, and said that anyone questioning why the United States needed to send troops into Afghanistan and Iraq should read.
"...And then I explain to him how naive we were, that the world did know and remained silent. And that is why I swore never to remain silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Whenever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe...Human rights are being violated on every continent. More people are oppressed than free. How can one not be sensitive to their plight? Human suffering anywhere concerns men and women everywhere...There is so much to be done, there is so much that can be done. One person - a Raoul Wallenberg, an Albert Schweitzer, a Martin Luther King, Jr. - one person of integrity can make a difference, a difference of life and death. As long as one dissident is in prison, our freedom will not be free. As long as one child is hungry, our life will be filled with anguish and shame. What all these victims need above all is to know that they are not alone; that we are not forgetting them, that when their voices are stifled we shall lend them ours, that while their freedom depends on ours, the quality of our freedom depends on theirs."
Which brings me full circle to the first quote about evil...I am a debater by my very nature, a debater and a pacifist. I think the whole damn world should be made to sit down and take lessons about how not to be selfish and how to learn to get along (something which most basic kindergartners are taught...note the sarcasm there). If we could all be selfless, there would be no need for war. If...that is such a big word!
I know in reality though, that most people are selfish (myself included in this list, despite my best efforts not to be). So then what is the solution when people can't agree, or agree to disagree, and diplomacy fails?
Is that we have become? As a nation? We've taken on the roll of the enforcers of the UN (although I will give England a wee bit of credit on that front - a wee bit mind you). As we struggle to get a handle on the issue during this year of elections, can we easily say we should withdraw our troops? Whatever our original purpose for sending troops to Iraq, and whatever Bush told us was our justification, the fact remains that we are currently engaged in war in Iraq. We have captured Saddam Hussein, and he has now been successfully tried, found guilty of and executed for mass genocide. But still the country is in turmoil, largely because of our interference in their country. Can we in good conscience walk away from the situation with things still so unresolved? And don't get me started on Al-Qaeda and the Taliban...
And moreover, does anything Hussein or the insurgents did/are doing, justify our use of force and violence in their country? Is this the evil that must be used to destroy evil? Can we justify what we are doing?
I know that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions. I feel we do have a moral obligation to help, I am just no longer sure we are...
When I read the book, I wrote down a quote which I wasn't entirely sure I agreed with at the time, but struck me none the less for its audacity.
"Since we have to use evil to destroy evil, it's better to do it with fervor and determination. And because the evil that confronts us is infinite we must hunt it down beyond national frontiers, wherever we find it. And we must do this here and now."
So, now I must digress for a minute...When I first read this I was appalled that it was actually written by a man who had received the Nobel Peace Prize. But the more I thought about it, the more I came to realize that it could only be someone who had suffered through and survived something like the Holocaust who could ever truly give an opinion on something like this. The reality of my life is that no matter how many novels like Night I may read about the Holocaust, I can NEVER in a thousand years understand what it truly must have been like. As often as I read the news, can I ever truly understand Evil? Evil the likes of which have never touched my life?
Little by little, I came to realize that what he was saying was not all together different from what he said in his Nobel Prize Acceptance Speech which I lauded with the highest praise, and said that anyone questioning why the United States needed to send troops into Afghanistan and Iraq should read.
"...And then I explain to him how naive we were, that the world did know and remained silent. And that is why I swore never to remain silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Whenever men and women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must - at that moment - become the center of the universe...Human rights are being violated on every continent. More people are oppressed than free. How can one not be sensitive to their plight? Human suffering anywhere concerns men and women everywhere...There is so much to be done, there is so much that can be done. One person - a Raoul Wallenberg, an Albert Schweitzer, a Martin Luther King, Jr. - one person of integrity can make a difference, a difference of life and death. As long as one dissident is in prison, our freedom will not be free. As long as one child is hungry, our life will be filled with anguish and shame. What all these victims need above all is to know that they are not alone; that we are not forgetting them, that when their voices are stifled we shall lend them ours, that while their freedom depends on ours, the quality of our freedom depends on theirs."
Which brings me full circle to the first quote about evil...I am a debater by my very nature, a debater and a pacifist. I think the whole damn world should be made to sit down and take lessons about how not to be selfish and how to learn to get along (something which most basic kindergartners are taught...note the sarcasm there). If we could all be selfless, there would be no need for war. If...that is such a big word!
I know in reality though, that most people are selfish (myself included in this list, despite my best efforts not to be). So then what is the solution when people can't agree, or agree to disagree, and diplomacy fails?
Is that we have become? As a nation? We've taken on the roll of the enforcers of the UN (although I will give England a wee bit of credit on that front - a wee bit mind you). As we struggle to get a handle on the issue during this year of elections, can we easily say we should withdraw our troops? Whatever our original purpose for sending troops to Iraq, and whatever Bush told us was our justification, the fact remains that we are currently engaged in war in Iraq. We have captured Saddam Hussein, and he has now been successfully tried, found guilty of and executed for mass genocide. But still the country is in turmoil, largely because of our interference in their country. Can we in good conscience walk away from the situation with things still so unresolved? And don't get me started on Al-Qaeda and the Taliban...
And moreover, does anything Hussein or the insurgents did/are doing, justify our use of force and violence in their country? Is this the evil that must be used to destroy evil? Can we justify what we are doing?
I know that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions. I feel we do have a moral obligation to help, I am just no longer sure we are...
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