Promises...

from Oct. 22, 2009

Before my husband left for patrol, I made myself a promise - I was going to take time while he was gone to figure out what I really want to do with my life; so that I could start living the way I always imagined I would. I wanted to look into school, so I could finish my degree. I wanted to plan a trip to Italy. And most of all, I wanted to dedicate time each and every day to something I love - writing, something. Both to keep me sane and focused. But more than that, to stop placing myself at the bottom of my "TO DO" list. I want to live a life without regret.

But once again, life has gotten in the way. First the weed whacker broke, but it wasn't the weed whacker at all - it was an electrical problem. Then the dog dies, my kids and I all got sick, and then the damn riding mower stopped working. I felt as if the whole world had suddenly gone crazy! And if I believed in Karma, well let's just say I must have done something seriously wrong as some point in tie in my life!

And so, I found myself so far at the bottom of my list AGAIN, that I'm honestly not sure I was even on it anymore! I spent two months stuck at home with sick kids, nursing them. I ended each day feeling sucked dry, exhausted and weary.

Now don't misunderstand me, I love my children, but after twelve years of being a stay-at-home mom, I need something more than nursing duty to fulfill me.

Today, all of my kids managed to go back to school for the first time in a month and a half. So I am sitting here with a cup of coffee, taking some much needed "me time." I'm going to take a few deep breaths, let out all this frustration, make a plan and move on.

When they say that "Tomorrow is a new day," they're wrong. Today is a new day.