My Escape

There is a place at home I rarely talk about because it is so sacred and beautiful to me that words seem inadequate to ever describe the hold it has on my heart. It's a small nature preserve called Schmid's Preserve, named after Charles Schmid who donated the land to the town in 1972. It's 650 acres became my personal paradise, my bliss.

You see my parents separated when I was young, and after two years of arguing and struggling, my mom dragged me off to start a new life. After another three years, and countless fights later, I was desperate to go live with my father and brothers again, to go "home," back to "my school." I was too young to understand that you can never go back.

Little did I know the difficulties that lay in store for me that year I returned. It remains to this day my biggest regret. But as they say, hind sight is 20/20.

And so, when times got tough, life a little too intense, the nature preserve became my sanctuary, my refuge. I could not have survived without it.

As it was just a short walk down the road, I found myself down there two or three times a week. I even made the trek up there in winter when my footprints were the only sign of life in my wholly unspoiled paradise.

I wandered the paths so often they became second nature to me. And I never tired of them. I drew strength from their beauty and their endurance. I was stirred by the continual growth and the abundance of life, a life that could not contain itself.

It is the memory of my enchantment which inspired this poem...

I used to go there
when I needed to escape

the paths glittered
tiny specks of Micah
reflecting the faint
bits of sunlight
tinkling through the
lush canopy of leaves

I came to know
the paths intimately
each one a lost friend
with whom I longed to be reunited
they were still and quiet
with softly filtered light

till the paths grew wider
threw themselves into a field
verdant and unspoiled
my haven

I would lay in the grass
caressing the soft blades
beneath my fingers
as if I could somehow absorb
the mystery and strength
of the earth
of God himself

I never saw anyone there
I did not take with me
I counted on my solace
as if I alone knew it existed

Sometimes I ended up there,
wandering through the woods
and my mind
not knowing what had carried me there
what inexplicable force tied me there

but with a paper and a pencil
the world was open to me
I was free
free of every hurt and injustice
every cruel thing that threatened me

It was my salvation